Only thing I have left …..

My past 2 weeks have been a nightmare my mom had heart surgery her heart stopped she passed out and fell and had to go to the hospital which lead to heart surgery to put a pacemaker in because she was flat-ling I am so scared of losing her 😦 I am so blessed to have her here she has survived cancer , 3 strokes , a heart attack and kidney failure and is on kidney dialysis and now this … every time  I get a call that something has happened my heart stops for a sec can’t breathe… I already lost my dad hardest thing I ever had to deal with in my life 😦  3 months after that I was told my mom was deathly sick with cancer they only gave her a month to live but guess what they were wrong…. Then not so long after that the one thing I feared so much .. I was diagnosed with cancer turned my world upside down I made it through that then got 3 very bad hernias from that surgeries and almost died from them spent over a month in the hospital was only given a 10% percent chance of living then….. my very good friend got very sick my heart broke I wanted to make it all better take away all of the pain and I couldn’t  I would rather hurt myself than to see my friend hurt 😦  I love my friends I care about them so much and would do anything I could to help them they are angels like teardrops in the ocean very good friends are a rare find and I have the best friends in the world I don’t know where I would be without my friends they are awesome! It helps me to write get it out let the words take over the hurt for just a little while…. when I was suffering through all that my friends were there for me couldn’t have made it to where I am now without them You Found me -The Fray love this song my friends did they “Found me” they give me strength and support and when I need a hug one of them is always there to give me one . My mom told me the other day that she didn’t understand why me and her were still here we could have been gone I told her we were here for a “reason”…. My friend inspires me so much with everything he has went through and is still going through he is a true warrior  and one of the sweetest women in the world inspires me she has cancer but she gets up every day and faces this world and does what she has to do she is a true warrior too I hope I can be a good of a friend to my friends as they have been to me they have no idea how much they mean to me tears are flowing as I think about it I need nothing from this world I don’t have much in this world but you know what I feel like the richest person in the world because I have the best friends in the world I would do without to help a friend that is how much I love my friends I feel so blessed and honored to be able to call them my friends . The thing that everyone should remember there is always someone going through something worse than you are my mom and dad taught me that from a very young age I thank them for that we all get comfy with our life and take things for granted not realizing how good we have things in life . All that I have been through has made me appreciate the small things in life I went shopping the other day my mind and eyes couldn’t take everything in fast enough everything was so beautiful in bloom and the trees all green it was so awesome we all just need a little SoulShine 🙂

To my friends Hugs!! I love you ❤ ❤ 🙂

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